


The Bird, the Cat and the Bug

by Miss_Swan



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged Up, All the human akumas from the show ares criminals, Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, Criminal|Chat Noir, Criminal|Ladybug, F/M, Hawk Moth is not Gabriel Agreste, Minor Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Thanks ghostgirl19 ur the best, wrote this instead of sleeping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-09-30 16:24:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17227379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Swan/pseuds/Miss_Swan
Summary: Basically Chat Noir and Ladybug are criminals and work as duo, while dating, for the crime lord Hawk Moth.Then, a new thief comes into town, and they give her a choice.





	1. The Bird in a cage

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is based on the universe from "On The Prowl" and "One Way Or Another" by ghostgirl19. Please go check out her work!
> 
> Also, this is my first fanfic, please leave constructive comments :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While robbing the famous criminals Rena Rouge et Carapace, Paon has an unexpected encounter.

Paon wasn’t someone you could refer to as ‘good’.Far from that she was a criminal, a thief.

Craving for the spot of the most wanted and feared criminal of Paris, she had to fight the title with the two most renowned criminals of the city; Ladybug and Chat Noir, who kept the spot for over two years. They worked as a team, and robbed every bank, jewelry store and business in Paris at least twice and always left a note on their crimes scenes that went something like this : 

Purrleashure doing bugsness

with you

\- Ladybug & Chat Noir -

Their signature was followed by a ladybug and a paw print. She did the same, impressed by their cocky attitude, signing her crime scenes with teasing quotes and puns she wrote with dark blue ink on light blue paper. She always used a peacock feather to write them, that she left behind.

To beat them she had to know them so she asked around, gathering glimpses of information. She quickly discovered that they worked for Hawkmoth, which wasn’t surprising; most of the criminals in Paris did. She didn’t, she worked for herself and was proud of it, enjoying taunting the crime boss by imitating his ways. She made her own outfit; a dark blue spandex suit with a long cloak of top that ended with six latex peacock feathers, and her own weapon; a hand fan usually strapped on her shoulders. The feathers that compose it hid a semi-circular blade. The hand fan allowed her to glide and could split into two smaller ones that allowed her to climb almost any surface

All the feathers of her fan could be removed and ended with a different tool that allowed her to pick any lock in her way, like she did right now, trying to break into an old warehouse near the docks. This time she couldn’t fail, even though she never did. If she succeeded, this would be the biggest heist of her career.

She’d worked on it for months, flirting with lowlife drunk thieves, blackmailing high graded members of the police force, torturing and even... killing until she finally found the location of the warehouse where, if she was correct, Rena Rouge and Carapace stashed all the loot from their heists. Like her, they worked only for themselves and each other. They formed a team a year ago, after Volpina left Rome for Paris. The copyfox quickly stole Rena Rouge’s place in Hawkmoth’s heart, if he ever had one, and the fox had enough, cutting all ties with the crime boss. Paon didn’t understand the crime lord. In her opinion, Rena Rouge had way more style than the other vixen and was way better than her, but business was business and when that said business had money involved, she just couldn’t resist.

After a few minutes, the thief hears a very satisfying click and a smug grin appears on her face when the door opens silently. She swiftly slips inside and finds herself surrounded by piles of large wooden crates. The thief opens the one closest to her and grins when she discovers the stacks of money stored inside. She starts stashing the cash in the deep pockets stitched on the inside of her cloak. When they ares full she fills her turquoise shoulder bag with all the jewelry she can find. With a satisfied grin, she takes the paper, ink and feather from the bag and after a short pause, thinking about what she’ll write this time, she brings down the tip of the feather onto the paper.

A little bird told me

You had an excess of goods.

Sorry but it simply had to go.

The Paon

Hearing footsteps on the rough concrete floor, she decides it’s time to run. Reaching for her hand fan, she starts sprinting towards the closest wall, where there the only open window. She runs less than a meter before a loud zipping sound tears through the air and before she knows it, the string of a yo-yo is wrapping around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides and suspending her a meter from the ground, upside down. She twists her arms, trying to reach her hand fan in hope of using it to cut the string holding her captive.

“Caught like a in a cage!” Groans a deep voice. “Good job M’Lady.”

“Thanks Chaton. Can’t believe it was that easy to catch her.” Answers a soft and chanting voice.

She clutches her teeth, humiliated. She barely holds in a gasp when she realizes Ladybug and Chat Noir ares in front of her. The lady is wearing a red spandex suit with black dots and a matching mask. Her hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, tied by a ribbon. She also has black combat boots that go up to her knees with a small dagger hidden in both of them. The criminal stands proudly, one hand on her hip and the other holding her pray in the air effortlessly. The man clad in black leather is crouching to be at the height of her face. He also has leather cat ears pinned in his blond locks, a leather belt wrapped around his waist trailing to the ground, imitating a tail and emerald green eyes, surrounded by a sleek black mask. 

Ladybug lets her captive down, her trusty yo-yo still wrapped around her rival’s chest. Her gloved hand reaches out, gently gripping Paon’s chin, tilting the criminal’s to have a better look look at her face. The polka-dotted thief chuckles, her laugh filling the warehouse.

“SHE is our number one competition?” She scoffs. “She doesn’t look that scary” Chat Noir nods.

“Exactly my thoughts, Bug.”

“Her costume looks awesome, though.” She smiles sweetly. “Did you make it yourself?” Paon nods and Ladybug’s grin gets wider. “Made mine too, a few years ago.” 

Chat Noir slowly maneuvers her way up to her with a smirk and runs one of his claws down his face, lightly following her jawline. “Such a purrfect face...” he whispers softly. Before she can react, he slashes her left cheek, tracing three distinct bloody lines in her pale skin. “This is just a warning from our boss. Join Hawk Moth or face the consequences.”

“Sorry to tell you, but I’m more of a loner.” She answers, cocky.

“Sadly, our world isn’t tender with lone wolves, or should I say birds.” Ladybug deplores sarcastically.

Chat’s emerald eyes stop on her peacock hairpin, and he moves his hand towards the precious jewelry, looking at it with lust. Despite her efforts to stay brave, tears pool in her eyes and he bottom lip stars to tremble. She closes her eyes, one single tear running down her wounded cheekas she mentally prepares herself to be separated from her most precious possession.

“No! Stop!”

She opens her eyes in surprise. She observes Ladybug’s gloved hand, laid on Chat Noir’s forearm, stopping him from grabbing her broche. She tilts her head confused. What the hell is Ladybug doing?

“Let her keep it, please.” The polka-dotted thief begs, a determined look on face. He frowns and turns his head in her direction.

“We ares thieves, My Lady, in our line of work, there is no space for mercy.” The lady’s shoulders drop.

“I know that. Put I can see that this beautiful piece of jewelry is the most precious thing she owns, like my earrings and your ring.” She lifts an eyebrow towards Paon in interrogations. The thief nods. “This hairpin is unique, where did you get it?”

“I made it. The gold and gems come from my first heist.” Her rivals seem impressed.

“How would you feel if someone stole you ring, Chaton?” Ladybug calmly pleads and Paon notices that Chat is absently playing with the said silver ring with a pensive expression on her face. “Plus, we don’t really need it.” She adds.

“Fine...” He sighs. Ladybug’s eyes light up as she grins.

“We have to go.” She announces, looking at the screen of her yo-yo. “Think about our offer, K? I have the feeling we would make a wonderful team.” Ladybug releases her before blindly throwing her yo-yo at the ceiling near the window. It wraps around one of one of the pipes hanging from from the ceiling and she swings out of the warehouse. Chat Noir give her one more smug look.

“When you’ve made your decision, pass by Akuma. Won’t give you the address, I’m sure you already know the place.” He says, his staff casually draped over his strong shoulders. “Take this,” he take out a golden ring from his pocket an drops it in her hand. “And press it onto the white brick.”

One those words, he bends down, picking up the bag full of money she dropped on the floor when his partner captured her, runs to the window and extends his baton, propelling himself on the ledge of the window with a two fingered salute in her direction. He then jumps down and disappears into the night.

She doesn’t move for a few minutes, lost in her thoughts before realizing that she probably going to. She grabs her hand fan and quickly climbs the brick wall, taking the same escape root as her attackers to exit the old warehouse. A few minutes, she lands on her balcony, gets out of her suit and falls on her bed, exhausted


	2. Rendezvous with the bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The criminals prepare to meet at the club. 
> 
> LadyNoir fluff all the way. 
> 
> Paon is lost in her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry it took so long!
> 
> Next chapter tomorrow, I’m almost finished. 
> 
> Thanks for the support.

The next morning, Paon wakes up with the sun, the pain coming from her cheek instantly reminding her of the events of the night before. She sighs, so much for that biggest heist... she is frustrated that all the work she did was just flushed down the drain. 

She remembers the ring and lifts her hand to look at it. Its a golden ring with three gems: an emerald, sapphire and a diamond, her colours, disposed in a triangle, for decoration. The ring has an intricate design subtlety reminding her of feathers. She smiles, Hawk Moth must really want her on his side to spend so much time time designing a ring for her. She can’t help but feel flattered.

She lets her thoughts wander off to her encounter with the two thieves.

She thinks about Ladybug. The criminal was imposing, cold, terrorizing and deadly. But at the same time, her rival showed she could be gentle, loving, merciful, sensible, friendly and determined.

She switched personalities so quickly during their brief meeting, changing from being friendly to ruthless in a matter of seconds.

She was the perfect villain, able to terrorize or seduce her victims to get what she wants. She remembers how panicked she was when Ladybug grabbed her chin to better examine her. Even if she was slow and gentle, it felt like her hole body was underneath a cold shower when the gloved hand touched her skin. But then she asked about her jewelry her heart melted, and she was ready to trust the criminal with her life.

Her thoughts ares interrupted by a screeching voice coming from her living room.

“Little chickeeeeen... little chickeeeeen!” She chuckles and gets up to feed her cockatiel.

It’s not a peacock, but it does the job. Her bird is called Hope but she took the habit of calling him ‘little chicken’ when she was feeding him and cockatiels ares able to repeat certain words that humans say around them so she was stuck with her feathered friend screaming ‘little chicken’ when he was hungry.The bird also flirted with himself in the bathroom mirror every morning and imitated the microwave beeping every time she used it.

She then starts to make breakfast, breaking eggs in a bowl, adds bacon in, stirs the mix and pours it in the hot pan. She then takes the cheese out of the fridge and grates it over the meal before leaning on the counter and get lost in her thoughts.

Maybe she should join them.

It would be more safe then trying to trying to fight them.

And they really impressed her. Maybe a partnership would not be that bad after all... being able to share that part of her life with someone instead of always pretending to be nice.

Bip bip bip bip bip

She jumps at the sound the fire alarm and realizes she space long enough to let her breakfast burn. She sighs, this day just started awfully. She throws the eggs out and opens the window before one of her neighbours calls the 911.

Great! No breakfast this morning... and she has to go to work.

———

Adrien shakes her softly, waking her up from her short nap.

“Uh? Chaton...” She smiles sleepily when she recognizes him. “What time is it?”

“Late. We’ve got a rendezvous with the bird in an hour.”

She grunts and gets up, going straight to the bathroom to take a shower.

Meanwhile, he goes into their walk in and slides open the secret panel in the back, taking their suit off their hooks and laying them down on the bed.

Marinette comes out of the bathroom, her hair already tied into her signature twin tails, a layer of blood red lipstick covering her lips and a towel wrapped around her. She slides into her spandex suit and turns around for him to pull the zipper along her spine. He, of course is already clad in his black leather skintight armour. 

———

Once in the warehouse, they both press their own ring against the brick wall, revealing the hidden staircase. He watches her with admiration when she pushes the heavy metallic door and walks in the club like she owns the place. She heads towards their usual table.

He still can’t believe what she did for him two years ago. After she came here for the first time, Hawk Moth made Volpina kidnap him and when his lady came to the rescue, the crime lord offered her a deal : his life, a pair of earrings and a high tech yo-yo against her becoming a criminal and working for her. To his surprise, she took the deal, turning away from all her convictions to save his unworthy life (that’s him thinking that, not me). The fact that she want against her beliefs for him made him realize how much she really cared for him.

He sits in-front of her, his features lit up by the candle on their table. The waitress comes up to the table and takes their order. Finally alone, their analyze their first encounter with the Paon.

“Do you think she’ll join us?” He shrugs.

“Dunno. I think we were pawsome. The perfect dose of intimidation and seduction.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs.

“Sorry for stopping you back there. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“What happened?”

She hesitates and he reaches for her hands over the table.

“Bugaboo, you know you can tell me anything.”

She sighs.

“I stopped you because I was saw myself in her.” He tilts his head, confused.

“What do you mean, Princess?”

“Remember when Dark Cupid almost stole my earrings?”

He nods.

Dark Cupid was a close friend of his before he got obsessed with his Lady’s earrings and kidnapped her to steal them from her.

“I felt the the exact same way she felt back there, I could see it on her face. Chat, you ring, my earrings, her hairpin, they all represent the lifestyle we chose. Mine represent the choice I made that turned my life upside down.”

“Did you ever regret your decision?” He can’t help but wonder.

She shakes her head.

“I never regretted it because I chose you, and you’re the person the person that matters the most to me. I love you more than anything In the world.” She leans over the table and captures his lips in passionate kiss. Chat closes his eyes, savouring the moment.

He still can’t believe his luck.


	3. Paon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paon finally joins in.
> 
> Ladybug teases.
> 
> Chat Noir is a romantic.
> 
> I am the worst at making summaries, just read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Tell me what you think, I’d love to hear your feedback.
> 
> See you next time <3

Evillustrator pushes the door open, nervously running a hand through his hair. His turquoise eyes trail around the club behind the black mask painted on his face before settling on the couple.

He walks over to their table, pulls a chair from a nearby empty table and sits with them. The redhead criminal helps himself to a napkin and starts sketching with his trusty black and white fountain pen.

Ladybug and Chat Noir exchange a confused and worried look.

“E! To what do we owe the honour?” Raising his head, the artist shows them the finished portrait of a masked woman.

The two criminals recognize her immediately their number one rival, Paon.

“The bouncer stopped this woman at the door. She said she wants to see you?” A large triumphant grin makes his on Chat Noir’s face.

“Let her in.” He says with a predatory smirk. “The Lady is a potential recruit and partner.”

Evillustrator nods and starts to walk away before stopping to turn his head towards them.

“Almost forgot. Our next heist is at the Louvre, on Friday. Are you two in?”

This wasn’t a surprise : Evillustrator mostly stole from museums and made fun of the authorities by leaving caricatures of different members of the police force on his crime scenes.

Chat shrugs. “Depends on our plans, but I’ll gladly join in if I’m free. My Lady?”

“Same as you,” she kisses him on the cheek. “You know I never do anything without you, Tomcat.”

His face lights up and Evillustrator makes his way towards the door. They see him say a few words to the bouncer, who opens the heavy door, letting Paon in, with The Mime on her left and Jackady on her right. They

“Jackady, Mime, always a pleasure seeing you two around.” Ladybug greats them warmly.

Jackady nods in her direction.

“Ladybug.” He grabs her hand and tries to kiss it but she pulls away.

“Ah, ah, ah... remember what I told you first time we met?” Ladybug teases him.

“That you don’t let just anybody kiss your hand?” He says.

“Exactly!” She says as she offers her hand to Mime, who kisses it.

Jackady frowns.

“You let him do it, but not me?”

Ladybug rolls her eyes.

“He doesn’t talk, J. How else would he salute the best criminal in Paris?” She sasses. “You, on the other hand, own the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen, so use it, and for something else than kissing a lady’s hand.” 

“It’s a courtesy!” 

“Then why don’t you give that same so-called courtesy to my Kitty? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind... or is it a thing only women have to indure?” She scoffs. 

The colourful criminal chuckles, his laugh high-pitched as usual, and raises an eyebrow towards Chat.

“Is she always like that?”

The feline thief shakes his head with an amused grin.

“Nah.” He answers with a quick glance at his lady. “She’s way worse. But you’re  not one to complain, I’m the one who has to deal with her all the time.” 

“Hey!” She pouts.

“Don’t worry, Bugaboo. For you I’d deal with it a thousand more years.” 

“Aww... Kitty, you always know what to say to make me feel better.” 

“For you, M’Lady, always. You know I’m your knight in shining leather.”

She seductively presses a hand against his leather clad chest.

“Are you saying that I’m a princess?” 

“I would say you’re My Purrincess, but you’ve grown claws, My Lady.” He purrs 

“That’s right, my Lord.” She says with a kiss.

“I would call you my Queen but I still haven’t found a good pun that goes with that pet name.”

Ladybug rolls her eyes gleaming with amusement before finally remembering they have a guest.

She nods towards the third empty chair Evillustrator left there, while looking at Paon with a friendly smile, silently inviting the criminal to take a seat.

When she does, Ladybug hands her a menu and snaps her fingers at the waitress, a tall woman with lila streaks in her long blond hair wearing a short purple pencil dress with a pink spiral starting on her right shoulder and ending on her opposite hip.

She immediately heads in their direction while Jackady and Mime leave the trio alone to head to their own table, near the stage.

“Hi there! Haven’t seen you two in a while.” Ladybug smiles and glances at Paon.

“We’ve been...” Ladybug’s gaze locks on the three scratches on Paon’s face. “Busy.” The waitress raises an eyebrow.

“And this is?”

The thief answers for herself.“Paon, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Ladybug gets up and hugs the woman.

“Good to see you, Nooroo. Did Tikki make her famous macaroons today?”

“Of course! She knows that you’re addicted to them and saved some for you. I’ll go get them. Still strawberry-lemon and choco-mint, right?” Ladybug nods.

“Add ten of those green tea ones and you’ll be my hero!”

Nooroo notes the orders on her pad and walks away walks away towards the kitchen, looping around the tables covered with pure white tablecloths.

“Now,” Chat Noir leans over the table. “Let’s talk business. Have you made your decision?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s playlist
> 
> •Cold As Ice-Blacklite District  
> •Just so you know-Blacklite District  
> •Love the way you lie-Eminem


	4. Business talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug, Chat Noir and Paon talk business.
> 
> Paon meets Lady Wifi.
> 
> Again, just read, it’s impossible to do a summary for this fanfic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So... there is the fourth chapter!
> 
> Make sure to leave a comment, they keep me going and I’m starting to hate the number 898! (Coff coff.. it’s a long story.)

Paon takes a sip of Ladybug’s drink, earning a laugh, and smiles.

“Fine, I’ll join you, but I have terms.”

“Understandable. Go on.”

“One, I want a percentage of what I steal.”

“Naturally, how much?”

“Hum, half, lets say?”

Chat Noir chokes on his drink, and bursts out laughing.

“My my, Paon, going for the high score I see. But might want to reconsider, Hawk Moth is generous, but he’s also a businessman.”

The woman shrugs. “Well, it was worth the shot.”

Nooroo comes back with a plate of macaroons and a blue and green drink she places in front of Paon, who raises an eyebrow, confused.

“Drink’s on the house, consider it like a welcome gift.” 

“Thanks.” Nooroo nods before heading towards another table.

“Now, what else?”

“Oh right. For the first few weeks, I want to team up with you.”

“Wait... what? But we threatened and scratched you!”

“Let’s say you two impressed me enough to gain my respect.” They smile.

“We’ll see what we can do about that. Anything else?”

“I want you to introduce me to your criminal friends. Like they say, the more friends the better, right?”

Chat tilts his head. “Who said that?”

“Dunno, just came up with it.”

Ladybug burst out laughing, throwing her head backwards.

“Of course we’ll introduce you to everyone!” She exclaims when she returns to a somewhat normal state.

She looks around the club. “You already know Jackady, Mime and Nooroo.” She then points towards the redhead thief that let her in. “This is Evillustrator, and the vixen sitting with him is Volpina. Never trust her, she’s the worse liar and a total bitch. Oh follow me!”

Ladybug grabs gently her arm and guides her over to a table in the corner.

There sits a redhead wearing a black suit with a glowing wifi symbol on her chest and white strips on her arms. Because of its emplacement in the back, the table is plunged in semi-darkness. The woman is surrounded by laptops, and the light emitted by the screens reflects on her face, lighting up her features.

She doesn’t seem to notice when the pair slides on the leather bench in-front of her.She continues to type away furiously, switching between the different computers. A smirk appears on her face.

“Seriously? You really think that’s gonna slow me down?” She shakes her head. “Morons...”she grunts between her clenched teethes.

She plugs in a small USB key. “Come on... there we go!” She throws a triumphant fist up in the air. “And now...” she enters another line while chewing a strand of her hair and grins “cover my traces.. and... I’m in!” She backs up into her chair and finally notices them. “Oh hey, Bug! How long have you been there?” Ladybug smirks.

“Long enough to see you’ve started chewing your hair again, Wifi.” She teases. The redhead looks down at her damp tips and blushes, embarrassed.

“Why do you always have to catch me on the act?” She complains before glancing at the other criminal. 

“Because you never pay attention. By the way, this is Paon.” Ladybug introduces them “Paon, meet Ladywifi, best hacker in town and my best friend amongst the criminals. Wifi, meet Paon, our number one competition and potential partner in crime.”

Paon smiles at the hacker and salutes her with a graceful bow, holding her hand fan. “Its anhonour to meet you.” The redhead nods. “Likewise.”

“So... what’s new ?” Ladybug asks. The other shrugs.

“Nothing, really. The usual.” She glances at the screen in front of her. “Just got into The Bank of France’s system.”

Paon looks at her in surprise. ‘The usual?’ That bank has the most secure anti hacking protection!

The two women keep talking like the best friends in the world, which they were, and from even before she was a criminal. This was in fact her best friend, Alya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Hope you liked it!
> 
> Next chapter, we jump back in time, to where Alya made a discovery that changed her life...

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! I five thousand words or so of material for the fanfic, it’s just not in chronological order. So I’ll post more when everything is sorted out.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> -Miss_Swan-


End file.
